Doubt

Posted By: Ryan Moore


I have been wrestling with a thought in my mind over the last few weeks. It has been a struggle to bring it to a tangible understanding so I have decided to help my thoughts along through the process of sharing them with you. The thought that has been birthed in my spirit is; those of us that call ourselves believers will in one moment trust God to faithfully provide in the craziest of circumstances, yet we turn around and doubt him in the next breath.  Why is that? Why do we waiver back and forth from moment to moment? It is as if, in one instance we are standing on the street corner proclaiming His name through a bullhorn and the next we are starring at our utility bill afraid that our power will get shut off. How is it that when we face a trial or difficult circumstance in our life we can at one moment trust Him and in the next moment doubt Him? Perhaps I am the only one that is in this particular lane on the highway of life, and if that’s the case, I am talking to myself. (which happens regularly, so don't feel alarmed)

As I was flipping this two-sided coin in my heart, I chose to look to history for the answer. I’ve fallen asleep watching the History channel a lot lately, in the vain attempt to somehow gain mass quantities of knowledge through osmosis.  (It hasn't worked.... yet). I love history and the process of studying what others did in the midst of extraordinary circumstances. I feel as if our past provides a blueprint for our future. This affinity for history is one of the things that I love about Scripture. The history that is found within its pages is so enveloping. It isn’t difficult to read the Scriptures and see miraculous stories of how God was unwavering and trustworthy to his people, but somehow when I am doubting God, it is hard to connect those 2,000 year old stories with the mountains I feel like I am facing today. Anyone of us can look back to a time in our past, whether it be 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago, when we said these words; “God, where are you!?” 

  You only have one story to write and the pen is in your hand

You only have one story to write and the pen is in your hand

It is easy to see how God worked in the life of the Israelites as he brought them out of Egypt, I can see how God worked in the life of Nehemiah as he rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem, but I can’t see God in the story of my life! I can’t open up a book and read the story of my life to find out the ending and if God will come through for me. If it were that easy, I would never doubt. (I hope). Now, I realize we can't read our story before it is finished, but what if I told you that you were writing it? What if I told you that when people look back and read the story of your life, they will read what you wrote today. You only have one story to write and the pen is in your hand.

As I developed this thought more and more I decided to write out the story of my life. (Don’t worry, I won’t include it in this blog, but my hope is that it will be made into a made for TV movie starring Brad Pitt) In order to write this out, I took major life events across a timeline and underneath it I created three categories. On one line I wrote the event or what I was facing, in the middle I wrote how I felt at the time, and on the far right side I wrote how God answered the prayer. It, to this day, has been one of the most humbling moments of my entire life. It was eye-opening to take the time and reflect back over how God answered my prayers, came through for me, and glorified Himself through my life. It was during this reflection that the words of Paul in Romans 5 came to mind. “And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” What an incredible answer that God provides for us. We are called to worship in the midst of our trials and doubts. We are called to lift our hands and praise Him even in the very moment we may doubt Him. Because we know that through this perseverance there will be character, and through that character we will find the hope we are so passionately searching for. As I stood back and looked at the timeline of my life and surveyed the faithfulness of God, I felt as if I just came out of the water and took a huge breath of air. It was so refreshing to know that even in the circumstances I now face, God has always been faithful and he won't stop now. 

So my challenge to you today is if you are in the midst of a trial, difficult time, or even doubt, to throw your hands up in worship.

Because through our worship we will have perseverance, through perseverance, character and through character we receive a hope, a peace, and a love in Christ that is greater than anything we have ever experienced…. And of that, I have no doubt.